The Road to 50 - Perception

Taking inspiration from my 11-year old daughter's essay on the way she used to do things and the way she does things now, I am celebrating my upcoming 50th birthday by writing about how I used to be, and how I am now that I am almost 50. The second post in the series is about  perception.

A while back, I heard a story about the speech Bruce Springsteen gave when he inducted Bob Dylan into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. In that speech, he said:

“The first time that I heard Bob Dylan I was in the car with my mother...and on came that snare shot that sounded like somebody kicked open the door to your mind, from 'Like a Rolling Stone.' And my mother, who was - she was no stiff with rock and roll, she liked the music, she listened - she sat there for a minute, she looked at me, and she said, 'That guy can't sing.' But I knew she was wrong. I sat there, I didn't say nothin', but I knew that I was listening to the toughest voice that I had ever heard...”

I loved this story for the fact that his mother - though she was no stiff - thought Dylan couldn’t sing. Of course, for Bruce Springsteen, it was a life changing moment. One person hears a voice and their life is changed by it. The other person changes the station.

It got me thinking about the idea of perception.

I used to spend a lot of time working on how people perceived me. I worked hard to make sure people thought I was swell  - smart, pretty, funny capable, talented.  It took work because to be sure they would think I was all those things, I first had to get a sense of what they were looking for, what they valued. Then, I’d project that thing, that quality, that I thought they wanted to see.

Over time though, I got a bit tired of all that wasted effort.  Because no matter how hard you try, you can’t know what is inside people’s heads, their hearts, so how can you change what they perceive?  Most importantly, while I was playing this perception game, what I lost was the chance to experience the power of simply being myself - to honestly present who I am, what I think, what I believe.

Now I don’t waste time, I simply show up as I am.  In doing that, I know that people’s reaction to me is an honest response to who I really am.  And, like Bob Dylan, there will be some people for whom I can “kick open the door of their mind”  while others, well, maybe they’d prefer to not listen.

As I enter into being 50, this feels like one of the most important lessons of my life.  I know that this life - my accomplishments, my mistakes and my lessons - come to me honestly, simply by being who I am.


Photo is from the wonderful Etsy Shop Vintage 50s Eyewear